I Reckon Life

Monday, October 10, 2011

Middle class

There are middle class people and then there are middle class people.
A conversation I had on train. Note that I am calling her a woman, not a lady!

woman: Which book are you reading?
me: (looking at her and assuming she wouldn't know Adobe Acrobat Pro) Some software book aunty.
woman: What is a software beta?
me: (dryly) It is a book on computers.
woman: (with a bright smile on her face) You must have done MCA.
me: (no expression for such an assumption) Engineering aunty.
woman: Where do you work in Noida?
me: Adobe.
woman: (still joyful) Oh Adobe. It is a factory in Sector 62, eh?
me: (irritated by now) No. Sector 25A.
woman: No! It is in Sector 62!
me: (WTF expression) Sector 25A.
woman: Where do you stay in Noida?
me: (getting tired of her interest in me) Sector 12.
woman: How much rent do you pay?
me: (saying fuck you in my mind) I gotta piss aunty.

These women are yet another reason why you'll find me sitting on the train door frequently!


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Our own

Seth Godin recently wrote:

"Mentors provide bespoke guidance. They take a personal interest in you. It's customized, rare and expensive.
Heroes live their lives in public, broadcasting their model to anyone who cares to look.
Like a custom made suit, a mentor is a fine thing to have if you can find or afford it. But for the rest of us, heroes will have to do."

I completely agree. Life is about finding your own inspiration and your own motivation. Nobody is going to be around for too long, to help through everything.
Deep inside we realize that it has never happened for anyone we know. Let's stop pretending it would happen for us someday. This way we are NOT the chosen few ;-)

I won't ever be getting that company to start my morning jogs, do my certification exams,

If it is to be, it is up to me!

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Sunday, October 17, 2010

New house, yet again

self (frustrated): Where the **** is that notebook?
wifey dear (exclaiming): You packed it.
self (with questioning looks): So? You are supposed to track and remember things in this house!
wifey dear (giving up): Sheesh. Are you a kid?
self (childishly): Yeah!
wifey dear (finding the notebook for me): Now don't lose it and try remembering things once in a while.
self (aggressively): Aren't both your jobs in this house?!
wifey dear (taunting): Oh you won't improve ever.
self (whistling): Should have thought so before marrying me!

This is the sixth house in past three years (since I came to Noida). She says she feels nomadic since she got married ;-)

[Shameless clarification: No fault of mine! This time the landlord got it vacated within 4 months, because suddenly they wanted to shift! Before that I changed jobs. And before that we wanted to reduce my commute by more than 20 km.]

Sometimes we feel like supporting the families of some property dealers here in Noida! If you need some advice, I can talk endlessly about what to look for, and through whom. At least, till my memory is fresh. Oh wait, all of it will get revised in a few months anyway ;-)

PS: Incidentally I am listening to 3 doors down's Runaway right now. One of the most 'beautiful songs' I ever listened to!


Monday, July 26, 2010

I want your love instead

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. The husband is really excited when the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
The husband says, "WHAAAT?"
The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. "I want you to love me for who I am and not what I can do to you in bed!"
The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen that night and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her Christmas shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the jewelery department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she doesn't care.She goes for the tennis bracelet.
The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis! Well, okay if you like it then let's get it. You deserve the best for Christmas."
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says, "I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register."
The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."
The wife's face goes blank.
"No honey, I just want you to hold this stuff for a while."
The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode and the husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a man. I want you to love me for who I am and not for what I can pamper you with!"

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Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Misfits

Some time back, Apple did a little bit of advertising that I've always kept with me. Often when people do something "different" they're faced with opposition of all kinds, from all sorts of people, and for all sorts of reasons under the sun. These are cynical and harsh times, with cynical and harsh people. But don't let it get to your head, just get a little crazy, there's nothing left to lose really.

You've got to see the video of this ad for added effect (read motivation) :-)

Here’s to the crazy ones.
the misfits.
the rebels.
the troublemakers.
the round pegs in the square holes.
the ones who see things differently.
they’re not fond of rules.
and they have no respect for the status quo.
you can praise them, disagree with them, quote them,
disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
about the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.
because they change things.
they invent. they imagine. they heal.
they explore. they create. they inspire.
they push the human race forward.
maybe they have to be crazy.
how else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?
or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
we make tools for these kinds of people.
while some see them as the crazy ones,
we see genius.
because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world, are the ones who do.


I want to be a Child again

I wish to be as playful as a child, with a kid's selectivity, with a kid's energy...

This is so beautiful--this is vaguely what I believe in when I say that world needs more love.

PS: This is the link at the end of the screen-shot.

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Friday, December 11, 2009

Prometric to CAT Students

I got the following message from them the other day.
from    DoNotReply@prometric.com
date    Thu, Dec 10, 2009 at 17:25
subject    A Message from Prometric
mailed-by    prometric.com
Dear Candidate,

At Prometric our first commitment is to provide every candidate with an excellent exam experience. To us, that means establishing a fair test environment and creating an exam that allows all candidates to demonstrate their true capabilities. Due to technical difficulties at a few centres some of you were unable to take the 2009 Common Admission Test (CAT). We know how important this test is to you, and we regret the circumstances that occurred this year. The administration of the exam may have fallen short of your expectations, as it did ours.

We empathize with the candidates who have not been able to complete the test despite the rescheduling efforts and extension of the testing period. To date, we have been able to contact and reschedule exams for more than 17,000 affected candidates, and majority of them have since completed their test. We are in the process of identifying candidates who may have experienced pre-mature termination of the test, or were unable to test within the testing window, and we will contact them to schedule a retake.

Please note that we are conducting a rigorous forensic analysis to ensure that every test result is valid and appropriate. Our work will not be done until our review of the situation is complete, the problems are identified, a plan is in place to ensure they don’t happen again, every candidate has taken the CAT, and all of the results are validated.

Thank you for registering for, and being part of the historic launch of the computer-based CAT. Computer-based testing has a transformative impact on education by expanding access, enhancing the test development process and making results more representative of a student’s capabilities.

For the more than 2.15 lakh candidates who have successfully completed their exams, we would like to say congratulations on being among the first test-takers of the computer-based CAT. This is a transition year for the CAT and we appreciate the patience you have shown. We understand that some of you may have had a less-than-satisfactory experience and again, we apologize. Every issue that has occurred has been noted and will form the basis of an improvement plan.

To your parents, we would like to assure them that we will conduct a thorough review and ensure that every candidate has been given an equal opportunity for the CAT.

We wish each and every one of you all the best and thank you once again for being part of the CAT 2009.

CAT Candidate Care Support
Prometric Testing Pvt. Ltd.


The message I think I would have written, had I been at the helm of affairs would be:

Welcome to the real world! Welcome to LIFE aka the bitch. Its never fair and its never unfair in your favour, as Calvin puts it. We all will always have ups and downs where only ups require your effort. The downs happen without you doing anything! But we accept the reluctantly and try to work our best to undo them or to bypass them. The only true skill in life is performing under pressure/stress--expected (of exam) and more so unexpected (of externalities).

We're sorry you could not give the CAT exam comfortably and our system added to unexpected stress. But then what do you expect a manager to handle? Market, so-called luck, customers, employees, production line, competitors, and (may I dare add) wives and children(!), always keep throwing such unexpected surprises your way. As we've said and we all know in our hearts the best we can do is either live with them or bypass them... or die(!) but you weren't thinking about it, were you?!

Normalization is a shitty concept we create to make us all feel protected from the unfairness going around in life. Normalization is for sissies. Be a man and accept what has come your way. This is what it feels like when shit hits the fan.

So welcome to the real world! We hope you won't break under the stress. In case you do... well that will just improve the gene pool for humans. Good luck fuking life and getting fuked in return!

That said, we don't expect IIM folks to give us the responsibility of conducting CAT next year. If they do we'd be happy to declare that we took the best B-schools in India for a BIG ride! Thanks for the charity you all did for us with your 1400 bucks in exam fees.


See why I am not at the helm of affairs! ;-)